Become One Living

Study for Surrender: The Niyamas

• Jody & Dan • Episode 5

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Ever wonder how what you consume - from the food on your plate, to the visual content you engage with, and even the experiences you invite into your life - profoundly impacts you? Join us as we journey through the transformative power of the Niyamas - the five principles of self-care in Yoga. We unpack the importance of cleanliness, not just of our physical bodies, but of our minds, hearts, and lives. We dig deep into the crucial role of contentment and discipline, and how incorporating them into our daily routines can reshape our perspectives.

In the second half, we broach the potent practice of self-study and the concept of divine surrender. Let's embark on a deep-dive into these tools that can assist us in connecting with the present moment and uncovering glimpses of divinity within ourselves. We'll chat about surrendering, which contrary to popular belief, isn't synonymous with giving up. Instead, it's about acceptance, flowing with life, and embracing the present. As we wrap up, we'll leave you with a teaser of our next episode focused on Asana - a whole new dimension of Yoga. Come along, let's unfold these enriching layers together.

We would love to hear from you! Email us at becomeoneliving@gmail.com or reach out to us on Instagram at BecomeOne Living.

Dan:

Hey, we're back, welcome back, oh my gosh, become one living podcast Tools A lifelong journey of Jody Domerstad Boyce and me.

Jody:

My husband, the coolest man in the world.

Dan:

Thank you, baby. So we're talking today about the niyamas, which gets good for me.

Jody:

The niyamas yeah.

Dan:

I'm literally, you know, I'm jumping ahead. But self-study is really great. I think it's. You know, getting introspective and reflecting and going inside is a whole world. But let's start at the beginning.

Jody:

Gandhi. As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world as in being able to remake ourselves, and the niyamas are about your inner world and your immediate surroundings.

Dan:

Boy, and it's just the beginning of your heroine's journey.

Jody:

What do you?

Dan:

mean? Well, you know, we all have our own unique journey, chock full of experiences. And, ultimately, if you're on that journey and you're searching and you're investigating yourself and you're studying yourself and you're examining your experiences, you keep going and going and growing and maturing and you go all the way, like the continuum theory, and you go all the way around and you get switched. You get back to yourself, but this time you get back to your deeper self.

Jody:

Niyama is one of the eight limbs of yoga and our last episode we spoke on yamas, which are about your behavior in the outer world, how you act, how you behave with the outer world. Now the niyama goes from the outer world to the inner world and it asks how do you care for yourself? And some of the niyamas there's five are cleanliness, contentment, discipline, self-study and ishvara pranidhana, which means surrendering to what is happening. Now.

Dan:

Surrendering in the greatest, strongest, strongest sense, most meaningful sense possible. Not surrendering as in giving up.

Jody:

For years I struggled with that word surrender. Somebody said to me once I don't surrender to the moment, that means it wins.

Dan:

And I think that if you look up the definition basically what surrender means, they're actually not. Basically, essentially, what surrender means is to simply yield to what is. There's no mention of Someone being lesser than or greater than. It's yielding to what is.

Jody:

Wow. That's powerful. In looking at Me myself and my immediate surroundings, that's what the ni amas look at and discuss. So you're saying Yield to what is happening in this moment, which, in turn to me, can be the kindest thing that you can do for yourself Instead of arguing with reality.

Dan:

But we jumped ahead.

Jody:

We actually jumped way ahead so cleanliness.

Dan:

you know it's thinking clean, maybe eating clean, maybe being clean, maybe I'm washing your armpits with soap. There's a variety of cleanliness.

Jody:

Items to capture. I am Looking at Dan Snarkily I just made that word up. He's saying you soap when you shower under your armpits Because of me. Yeah yeah, okay.

Dan:

Well, I mean, see, I asked my, my uncle Ed, who's a who's a biologist he's a retired biologist and I asked him. He worked for lever 2000 and Johnson and Johnson, a lot of skin products and I said what does soap? Do and he said essentially it breaks up the cake that comes onto your skin. So you want to use soap to break up the cake?

Jody:

I just use my nails like a dry brush to scrape off the cake. That's why I can smell you from here. Well, we have this joke that we giggle at, but Dan has an old, two older brothers, and his one brother Said something that we still laugh about.

Dan:

Remember? Yeah, I smelled my armpit and Jody smelled her armpit. She got he could I go. We smell just the like and it goes go. Of course you guys smell like a like you eat the same food.

Jody:

So cleanliness has to do with taking care of your body, and I remember one of my yoga teachers saying that for years he would go to a thrift shop and Not spend a lot of money on clothes, but the clothes that he would buy were really worn out, would have holes in them and Strings and poles, and what he came to realize about Cleanliness is also about respecting your body. It doesn't matter how much something costs, but the question is why are you wearing ripped clothes and torn clothes if you don't have to? This idea of caring for oneself, no matter the cost, the fabric, really feeling that I Care about what I wear and being clean and feeling good in what I'm wearing that also, to me, goes into immediate surroundings. Do I feel good in the clothes I have on?

Dan:

Yeah, and and and. It's definitely body, it's definitely clothing it, but it's also extends out Into to all those other things that in our modern, modern world, you know Caring for what you allow in. I guess there's a crossover there. But being clean about you know your approach to life, not just your body.

Dan:

Yes you know, and noticing you know. So I know how I feel when I have one of those weekends where I eat a lot of cheese and potato chips. It just I feel the result, you know, I feel that that to me is as part of that cleanliness piece where, okay, if I eat cleaner, well, how can I compare and contrast how I feel after I eat potato chips versus how I eat after I have a red bell pepper for breakfast?

Jody:

Also, what about looking at cleanliness or purifying with what you're watching and People like violent shows or cop shows? My mother loves cop shows and when I get into these episodic shows On my computer because we haven't had a tea, I haven't had a TV in 20 years and I've been with Dan 13 years we don't have a TV we will sometimes watch Movies on our computer and he'll catch me in these episodic movies and they're usually cop movies and Psychological thrillers. That's not really cleanliness for the mind, because it keeps me in suspense, which keeps me limbic. Fighter flight and I've become very aware of what are the things that I'm putting in my mouth, in my ears and in my eyes. Does that add to Cleanliness? And cleanliness to me also means seeing, clearly, being clear, not just not being dirty.

Dan:

Mm-hmm. And the relationship to the body is is when you work out your body and get some of the kinks out and you become Erect and you get your head straight on your shoulders, you have clearer thoughts.

Jody:

Mm-hmm. When you move your body, you get the kinks out.

Dan:

You have the capacity To see and think clearly you're maximizing that potential to See, be and feel clearly.

Jody:

Wow. The niyamas also have a word called tapas, ta P as, and Some translate it as heat and fire, and they make their practice quicker or harder thinking the more heat they have, the more they're going to burn off purities, and I'm here to tell you.

Dan:

Burn off impurities.

Jody:

Yes, what did I say?

Dan:

Burn off purities.

Jody:

Okay, so we're going to burn off impurities.

Dan:

Yeah, baby.

Jody:

And I'm here to tell you that ain't happening. You cannot move your body quick enough to get rid of your stuff. You can't sweat enough to get rid of your stuff, and I mean stuff as in, let's say, dis-ease mentally, physically and emotionally. Stop us is about a discipline. It also means discipline, and this discipline that you engage in is different than what you normally do. So it creates this agitation, or this rub or friction, which creates a heat for transmutation and alchemy to occur.

Jody:

Love it, and that could be done in anything coffee in the morning. I love coffee in the morning, I'm cool with it. Let's say, though, you want to give it up, and if you wake up you will have to choose tea or something different to fill it or not have anything. That's the agitation, that's the very thing that is going to stimulate a rub, because it's different than what you always do. If you don't continue to do it, you will not transform To change any habit neurologically. This is neuroscience. It has to be small, repeatable and done consistently over time. If you're not willing to do that, you will not change a certain aspect of yourself.

Dan:

And what you just said sounds like a sutra it is it is.

Jody:

We will dive into the Yoga Sutras more, but there is a sutra that says and the Yoga Sutras were written thousands of years ago, they're guidelines for participating in yoga and how to do yoga and the eight limbs that we're talking about, we're talking about the second limb. Right now those eight limbs are in that book and there is one sutra that says you must do something with love for a long period of time, without breaks, to see a change With enthusiasm. I like with love, but, yes, with enthusiasm. I threw in the love word.

Dan:

And we blew over another one contentment.

Jody:

Contentment.

Dan:

Sentosha. Yeah, I love the weave. I love the fibers that are coming together as we move through this. There's crossover for me with, like tapas, discipline and concentration. Dharana, the weave is starting to happen where things cross over into one another.

Dan:

And contentment all of these things are slippery slopes. Your approach matters. Your understanding matters. Where you are in your life matters. There's so many variables. So, for those of you who are listening and we're beginning to share, we want you to know that we're not talking absolutely. We're sharing to educate and share our experience, and we'd love you to participate in this. So you know and I get sensitive to that because I don't want to turn anybody off I really want to create a dialogue with people, because when you talk about, say, for instance, contentment, I mean we have to start and explore, investigate what that means for each individual, and they could be, for one person could be a world apart from another person. So relationship to each and everything in your life plays a role in getting started, in transforming and diving deeper into a yoga practice or yoga practices. And why are we talking about that? Why do we care? Because yoga has powerfully impacted us in beneficial ways.

Jody:

And it has a framework. The eight limbs are logical, clear and concise framework that we can go back to when we need support in checking where are we off? If something's not working in my life, I go through the list. Is it my behavior outward? Is it towards myself? Is it my body? Am I eating something? Am I not exercising? Is it my breath? Is it my mind? Is it my thoughts? Am I distracted by someone, something? Where am I in this thing called life? Where did I lose myself? That's what I appreciate about yoga, and there's no judgment. I don't know where I am in this moment. I'll share that with Dan, that we'll be walking. We'll go for a walk and he'll say what's going on. I have no idea what's going on. That's where we want to be, because when we don't know, this is what I feel like contentment is. I'm content with not knowing what's going on in the moment, which then allows for me possibilities of what really could be going on. Are you always wishing something is different than what is here now? Right, that's not contentment.

Dan:

Right. And if you're content, if you can achieve contentment, you will be moving in the direction of having ease in your life. And when you're easeful, you're less anxious and stressed. And when you're less anxious and stressed, you can be more productive with the things that you want to be more productive with.

Jody:

As contentment comes up, I'm remembering my chronic illness, something that was hard to forget, and every day I woke up with pain, and my pain was physical and mental. I was always angry, not at the world Well, that's not true. Sometimes I was frustrated, feeling what if I can't function today? What if I get sick today? What if this hurts today? I was never okay with not being okay, and that's something that I had to shift in order to heal Contemplation.

Jody:

I learned for myself and Dan said this just a couple seconds ago you have to know what these words mean to you. You have to know what contentment means to you in order to use the word. And for me, contentment is being okay with what's happening and not trying to change it. So, as sickness rose for me and I met it, I'm not dealing with this, I'm not going to do this, I'm not going to do that. But when I paused and said, no, this is what's happening, this is what's here right now To me, that allowed so many doors to open, that's contentment. It doesn't mean I necessarily like what's happening, but it means I can get with it, you're okay with it. Yeah, it's here.

Dan:

Yeah, yeah it's. Some of these things are subtle and tricky and you may have to spend some time with them, but at the same time they're just, they're powerful. The tapas discipline for me is a crossover in my mind and woven in my mind to Duranah, the limb of concentration. I have had moments in my life where an intense, regular yoga practice, having that ability to develop my ability to concentrate, has offered me great results.

Dan:

In my personal life there was a time when I was doing a lot of yoga and I couldn't figure out what I was supposed to do and by showing up and moving my body and concentrating and concentrating and concentrating, I came to the answer that I needed for that moment in time. And the same for physical injury. When I committed to figuring out what's going on with my arm, what's going on with my left shoulder, and trying to get it remedied so I can make it usable again, I got the result. You know, discipline and concentration go together for me. So in the Niyamas, discipline is truly important if you want to reap the greatest benefit of all these things that have come together in terms of the sutras and the eight limbs.

Jody:

With discipline, then comes self-study. Dan shared the discipline that he did, helped his arm, helped him make a decision or get clarity around the decision that he needed to make for himself. You can only do that if you're adding in that piece of self-study and you're self-studying yourself against what you're choosing to do, to see if it works. What does that mean? It means if you're doing yoga and you're still a jerk, you want to study that a little. You want to start to inquire. Why am I still behaving this way? What's happening? Is it working? Self-study who am I? Who do I want to be? How do I get there?

Jody:

There's this opportunity to practice yoga, the system of yoga, the yamas. What's my behavior? The niyamas how am I treating myself? And my immediate surroundings, the inner world. Now, once you're questioning this inner world, then it's studying yourself and asking yourself who am I? Who do I wanna be? And then surrendering to where you are in this moment in your life and be right where you are, not wanna be somewhere else of this. Yes, we use these tools not always to change and get more and be more and be different, but to embrace ourselves and where we are and who we are in this moment.

Dan:

My favorite college class and my undergraduate degree. The class was simply called listening and it's my most memorable favorite class of my entire undergraduate degree. Speaking of self-study, you get reflections from your world around you and when I was younger I came to be known a little bit as a wise ass. My truth about it was simply that I would just state the obvious, and in my family stating the obvious was like raucous and rowdy because nobody wanted to see the obvious.

Dan:

But as I'd gone through my life I realized the things that I learned in college in my course called listening were so appealing and awesome to me that what I did was I got so great at listening in conversation that I'll listen so deeply to what somebody is sharing, so deeply that if a thought comes in, by the time they finish their thought, I forget what it is that I wanted to share. So these things help, these exercises and these niyamas they help you get tuned into the present moment. If you really put it under a microscope and you take it a little bit seriously, you can develop skills that are subtle and they're at your disposal, but they're not popular. So I would miss out on opportunities on being a wise ass because I would delve into listening so well, and it's just cool things like this having the discipline to let go, surrender, yield, be content and not force anything. Allow flow.

Jody:

So the niyamas are about an inner discipline and to live according to the system of yoga. It's our responsibility as an individual to make time and effort to tend to our body, breath, heart and mind. The niyamas are a more subtle way of looking at yourself, where the niyamas are grosser meaning external. So we go from the very external with the yamas to more internal with the niyamas.

Dan:

And the last niyama is Ishwara pranidhana and it's a boatload.

Jody:

Surrendering to God.

Dan:

Yeah, well, you just said it when you say that that's a boatload, because when you do these tools you can get glimpses, glimmers, little lights shining through the cracks of the divinity of life, the divinity of things, the divinity that lies within you. So, again, like to the audience, we want a dialogue. So we're not looking to turn off anyone that honors one particular God. We're looking to open up a conversation and be open to even that rock at the top of the mountain that you climb, finding the divinity in that, finding the preciousness in life in that.

Jody:

Well, it's not about turning anyone off, because we have no control over that, isn't that yoga? Yoga is about truth, and the truth is that's what the yoga scriptures say is surrendered to God. And the question that I ask everyone to ponder is what does that mean to you? Goes back to what you shared. Is what does that even mean? Because to me, what it means is this innate intelligence that lives everywhere and this intelligence that makes the sun rise and set and shows us the moon, the reflection right, the seasons. There's so many ways to look at this word, and here I would also like to offer this Can you surrender to the moment?

Jody:

That's what I hold in my heart is. Am I fighting every single thing that is given to me, that's happening in my day, or after all the practices I do? Can I surrender and say I trust that what is happening is meant to happen, because I'm doing everything I can in the moment? And can I be okay with not knowing what the outcome will be, but knowing that I'm going to show up to the best of my ability in the moment? That's the gift of the eight limbs. If I investigate these limbs, and again, we're only on number two, if you're just joining us. Niyama about inner discipline, your cleanliness your contentment, your self-study.

Jody:

And then the ability to say I'm going to do all this and yet I still have no control over the outcome. I only have control over my action. That, my friends, was life-changing when I realized that there's nothing outside myself I have control over. I can do these practices to support me and to help me see clearly and to make more life-enhancing decisions, but in the end, whatever happens, I have no control over it's only your actions. So how do you choose to behave and what do you want to change, niyama? What do you want to change in your life or use in your life to help create a transformation?

Dan:

Good stuff. What are we talking about next episode?

Jody:

We'll be the third limb, which is asana.

Dan:

I know.

Jody:

There's so much great stuff to talk about when it comes to the body and asana.

Dan:

It's crazy, like any one of these words that you mentioned, there's so much.

Jody:

Yes, we will be talking about these and hopefully having discussions with your questions that you can email us at becomeoneliving, at gmailcom, and you can find us on Instagram at becomeoneliving. Questions are great. Dan and I, in human design, are both responders.

Dan:

Yeah, so.

Jody:

If you don't know what that is, we'll talk about that one time too.

Dan:

What it means, though, in a nutshell, is bring on the questions.

Jody:

And we will respond. Thank you so much for listening and being with us today. Thanks, dan, for engaging in this conversation with me.

Dan:

Yeah, I look forward to it.

Jody:

See you next time.

People on this episode

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Dan Boisits

Co-host
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Jody Domerstad-Boisits

Co-host